Parisian Perspectives

“What you are not changing, your’re choosing,” By Laurie Buchanan

Inaction is a choice. 

Sometimes, we sit back and become our own audience, watching life unfold because we’re too afraid to deal with the cards we’ve been dealt. Other times, we’re the ones dealing those cards, stacking the deck against ourselves. There’s comfort in letting things play out on their own, even if it comes at a cost.

Why?

Because making a decision means facing the unknown, and sometimes that’s more terrifying than staying stuck.

This year, I made a choice—one I didn’t even realize I was making until I was buried in it. For a good portion of the year, I chose to be unhappy. I stayed in relationships that no longer fed my spirit, clinging to the threads of something that was already unraveling.

Why?

Because I was afraid. Afraid of what might come next. Afraid that leaving would take me from bad to worse.

How do you truly let go? 

How do you truly let go?

I’ve realized that throughout this new chapter of my life, I’ve been struggling with letting go—of feelings, people, situations, everything. I hold on, sometimes too tightly, even when I know it’s time to let go.

I don’t understand how you can love someone so much that you let them go. Maybe that’s my flaw. I love people so much that I would rather have them in my life as anything than have them in my life as nothing.

I was told I’m selfish. I concur.

Shame

/SHām/

a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.

Sometimes, I feel a wave of sadness—or is it guilt?—wash over my entire body. It’s like my heart physically aches under the weight of it. And yet, I can’t help but wonder: Why?

The truth is, everything I’m feeling now is a product of my own decisions and actions. That’s what’s so hard to grasp—my consequences.

For earthly experiences that fed my physical being but left my spirit starving. In those moments I chose temporary comfort over lasting peace, and now I’m left to sit with- my shame.

My current battle is accepting. Accepting that I failed myself. Accepting that I ruined something that could’ve been amazing. Accepting that I will never experience the other version—the other story, the other point of view, the other perspective where I did everything right.

How do you let that go? How do you release the should’ve, could’ve, and would’ves that linger in the back of your mind, replaying constantly. 

But then I wonder—would everything have fallen apart if it was really meant to be?

It wasn’t meant to be. This is what’s meant to be. This story, this perspective, this version of events—this is exactly what was supposed to happen. No matter how much I question it, no matter how many times I replay the “what ifs,” this is the reality I was meant to live.

Embracing your decisions—especially the ones that no longer sit right with your spirit, the ones you’ve outgrown, the ones you regret—is the biggest step toward truly accepting yourself. It’s about recognizing that every choice, even the ones that hurt, shaped who you are today.